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Tiger Love: Tackled by Cupid

For Stacey (Wolff) Incorvaia ’83 (retail management), love meant taking the long way—literally. As a student, she would walk past the residence hall room of AJ Incorvaia ’85 (computer science) hoping for a glimpse.

“I used to walk to the farthest water fountain just to see him,” Stacey said.

Along RIT’s Quarter Mile, AJ noticed too. “She was so cute in that blue suit.”

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a man and a woman stand next to each other in a park like setting.

RIT provided the foundation for AJ and Stacey Incorvaia’s relationship.

This connection seemed unlikely at first. He spent hours buried in his studies. She commanded rooms with her vibrant personality. Cupid had a plan and a snow-filled football game in 1982 during Cold Hands & Warm Hearts Winter Weekend provided the spark.

With snowballs flying after the game, AJ saw an opportunity and tackled Stacey.

“My mother told me to never let anybody get the better of me, and I wasn’t going to allow him to,” Stacey recalled, describing how she knocked AJ to the ground in retaliation.

What began as playful banter blossomed into a dynamic partnership spanning four decades. RIT played a pivotal role, cultivating their bond through a blend of support and encouragement, which sustained them through life’s challenges.

“AJ was my rock when it came to math classes,” Stacey said. “I couldn’t have passed stats without him.”

“She was my social manager and alarm clock,” AJ added. “Left to my own devices, I’d have stayed in the dorms, but Stacey made sure we had fun. I think that’s what made the experience special.”

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students pile in to a large human pyramid for a photo in a grassy open space.

The couple’s relationship began in 1982 with a football game during Cold Hands & Warm Hearts Winter Weekend.

Their bond was tested with distance. Stacey’s co-ops took her to Chicago and Boston, and she embarked on a retail career in New York City while AJ stayed to finish his degree. The pair wed in 1989, and their careers took them to Northborough, Mass., where they currently live.

“We didn’t have cell phones or the Internet back then,” AJ said. “Maintaining a long-distance relationship took effort and commitment, but she was worth it.”

Another hurdle? Skiing. Stacey began skiing at 3 years old, a central part of her upbringing.

“My mother grilled AJ about skiing the first time he came home with me,” Stacey said. “She didn’t ask about his major or career plans—she asked if he could handle Vermont slopes.”

At the time, AJ had only been skiing twice, but he was determined to impress Stacey and her family. Trips to Vermont, Utah, and Western Canada are now cherished memories with their three children, now ages 33, 30, and 28.

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a middle aged couple stands in front of a geometric background wearing fancy clothing.

Balance, independence, and shared experiences have kept the couple together for more than 40 years.

“It’s something that brought us closer as a couple and as a family,” AJ said. “Even today, when we hit the mountain together, it feels like the perfect blend of adventure and connection.”

Today, AJ works as a senior vice president at Siemens, while Stacey runs a knitting shop and serves on local boards. Reflecting on their relationship, they stress the value of balance through independence and shared experiences, and the daily choice to love.

“Every day, you wake up and decide to keep choosing each other,” Stacey said. “That choice, and the effort you put into it, is what builds a lasting partnership.”

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